Dad Said… Father's Day Humor

Father’s Day is this weekend. This is the first of two Father’s Day posts. We need to spend a little time grappling with what it means to honor our fathers and mothers. To that end, see how many of the following Dadisms (or something similar) you heard while growing up!

Father’s Day: Because I’m the Dad…

If something goes wrong with any family car, I will look under the hood and stare intently at the engine. I don’t know much about the engine. But looking at it gives me the opportunity to say, Once upon a time I could fix stuff like this but with all the chips and computers on engines these days I wouldn’t have clue where to start. Shut the hood!
I hold the romote while watching TV. This is necessary to scan other channels to make sure I don’t miss something important. It also prevents the remote from getting lost. Finding the remote can take up a lot of time. That might cause me to miss one of those important things I scan for!!!
If a household appliance goes bad, I will not call a repairman until I have tinkered with said appliance. This remains true even though I know when I eventually do call the repairman, my bill will be higher because I worked on it first.
I rarely get sick. So when I do, I require constant care and attention. Nobody gets as sick as I do!
I loved the movie we saw together. You don’t have to ask me. If you cried at the end of the movie and I didn’t, just know I enjoyed being with you to watch it.
I am competent for basic shopping. Milk, bread, eggs, and peanut butter comprise two-thirds of the things I can get at the store. Advanced shopping skills are required for stuff like vanilla extract and Maybelline products regardless of the shade/color. Do NOT send me after anything on the feminine hygiene aisle!
It’s time to go and I just want to go. Yes, you look fine. The shoes are fine. Your hair is fine. What you just took off looked fine, too. You always look fine, can we just go?

Father’s Day: Dad Said…

Don’t forget to check the oil!
Bring back all the change!
If you live here and eat here, then you work here!
Why are we racing to a stop sign?
It’s just blood, wipe it off!
Don’t make me stop this car!
This going to hurt me a lot more than it’s going to hurt you!
You will go and you will have fun!
Get this mess cleaned up before you are grounded for the rest of your life!
Ask your mother!

Father’s Day: A Thought

In preparation for the next post, Dads get a lot of bad press. As a preacher and teacher I have often admonished men to step up and be what God has called us to be. If a man is frustrated in doing that, it isn’t without cause. Whatever happens to people, it often gets blamed on Dad. For example:

• My Dad was too strict.
• My Dad was too lenient.
• My Dad was absent.
• My Dad was always up in my business.
• My Dad was too religous.
• My Dad had no religious side of life.

That list could go on, but you get the idea. I’ll just state the obvious: there’s only been one perfect Father and his kids rebelled against Him in the Garden of Eden. Now that we have that out of the way, there are a great many things us imperfect fathers have done well. We each have our strengths and we have all made our share of mistakes. Be that as it may, it’s God’s idea and His Word that says honoring our fathers is the right thing to do. What does that mean? See the next post!

Soli Deo Gloria!